Our Matching Method
The Psychology Behind Real Connection
We don’t rely on algorithms or first impressions — we look deeper.
Our therapist-led approach blends relationship science, emotional readiness, and human intuition to create meaningful, lasting matches.
The Problem With Modern Dating
Apps and traditional matchmakers move fast — but they rarely go deep.
Apps reward instant attraction, not emotional readiness. They collect data points but miss the deeper patterns — how someone communicates, self-regulates, or responds to emotional needs. Even professional matchmakers often focus on surface compatibility: career, hobbies, appearance.
At Matched by Design, we know that connection doesn’t fall apart because of mismatched résumés — it falters when readiness, emotional timing, and attachment patterns are overlooked. That’s why our process looks beyond preference lists to the psychology behind them.
We don’t match profiles.
We match patterns, pace,
and emotional availability.
The Problem With Modern Dating
Apps and traditional matchmakers move fast — but they rarely go deep.
Apps reward instant attraction, not emotional readiness. They collect data points but miss the deeper patterns — how someone communicates, self-regulates, or responds to emotional needs. Even professional matchmakers often focus on surface compatibility: career, hobbies, appearance.
At Matched by Design, we know that connection doesn’t fall apart because of mismatched résumés — it falters when readiness, emotional timing, and attachment patterns are overlooked. That’s why our process looks beyond preference lists to the psychology behind them.
We don’t match profiles. We match patterns, pace, and emotional availability.
Mind–Body Readiness,
Redefined
Gil Epstein
Co-Founder & Chief Insight Strategist
Attorney, mediator, and marriage and family therapist, Eric bridges emotional insight with decades of experience guiding people through life’s hardest transitions.
After 30 years as a family lawyer and mediator, he saw firsthand that many relationships unravel not because of incompatibility but because emotional readiness was missing from the start. His work inspired a new mission: helping people find connection that’s emotionally aligned from day one.
When you feel strong in your body, you show up stronger in love.
What We Look For Before We Match
Real compatibility begins with emotional awareness.
When you crave authenticity, swiping starts to feel hollow. You’re still figuring out what actually matters, but apps reward impulse over intention. We built a different kind of matchmaking — one that respects where you are emotionally, not just digitally.
Emotional Readiness
Before any match, we assess emotional pacing and relational readiness — your ability to communicate, regulate, and stay open through conflict.
Relational Fit
We look for balance between independence and intimacy, communication styles that complement, and values that align across daily life, not just dating.
Therapist Insight
Every match is reviewed by licensed marriage and family therapists. Our training helps us see patterns — like avoidant/pursuer dynamics — before they repeat.
Ready for something that feels real — not just another swipe? See How We Match Differently
Matching, the Therapist Way
When two members show natural overlap in emotional readiness, communication pacing, and values, our therapist team conducts a holistic review — looking not for “types,” but for fit.
We consider:
Attachment Patterns
How each person connects, communicates, and self-soothes.
Values & Boundaries
How they navigate autonomy, empathy, and repair.
Emotional Timing
Readiness isn’t static; it’s about meeting at the right moment.
When alignment is found, introductions are made intentionally and thoughtfully — never rushed or random.
This is where psychology meets intuition, creating matches that feel calm, mutual, and real.
Compatibility isn’t about sameness — it’s about shared emotional rhythm.”
How Matched by Design Differs
Built for depth, readiness, and lasting connection — not swipes or stats.
Matched by Design
Apps / Typical Matchmakers
Guidance & Expertise
Led by real therapists
Run by algorithms or quotas
Emotional Foundations
Grounded in readiness
Often skipped entirely
Science + Intuition
Psychology meets human insight
Data-only or surface-level
Timing & Readiness
Matched when both are truly ready
Fast, not always right
Goal
Real connection that lasts
Quick matches, short sparks
What Happens When Readiness Meets Alignment
When two people meet at the right time in their emotional growth, connection feels effortless —not performative.
It’s not about chasing sparks; it’s about recognizing calm, curiosity, and mutual respect as signs of something real.
Our process helps emotionally ready singles meet partners who share that same pace — because timing, readiness, and empathy are what make relationships last.
” We don’t promise instant chemistry. We create the conditions for lasting connection. ”
Ready to Start Matching?
Take the next step — join our therapist-curated community of emotionally ready singles.
No algorithms. No pressure. Just intentional connection, built with care.
Your information is reviewed only by our licensed therapist team.